*i deleted this part*
So, the reason why I'm busy now is because of the Youth Sunday presentation that I'm assigned to make. Wee... Just so I could keep ya reading, here's from my latest entry on my Friendster Blog:
I haven’t been myself lately, and I just blogged out of my own lust for fame around the blogosphere- scattering my name all over the internet to get my website some unique visitors and making a lot of friends and comments on my own blog entries. I have forgotten the real reason why I chose to keep a blog. I have forgotten what I really wanted my blogs to be: I want these blogs to shout how Great the Lord is. I want to include in every page the name of the Lord. I want to reach out to people around the world by means of the internet connection. Does it sound insane? Well, I am serious. I have forgotten that this was the main goal of my website. I have forgotten what the Lord has told me.
I had been leading a weekly devotion. I had been attending cell group meetings, and worship celebrations and youth services. I had been leading, together with the worship team, the congregation to shout praises to the Lord every sunday. I had been a thick-faced sinner. I acted as if God and I still had the burning relationship. I faked everything else. I thought that being active ’round the church would make me closer and closer to my God, but somehow it made me even worse. Being alone at home with the computer on, enjoying the internet connection and using it for other purposes- it just didnt seem right. I watched too much anime, slept late at night, and didnt do anything productive around the house. I just sat back, ate, and surfed the net. Now I consider myself a lazy pig waiting to be punished.
I thought that just by doing all the stuff at church would maintain my relationship with God even if I dont talk to Him. I was wrong. I was completely wrong. I abandoned God, and that was my loss. Looking back, I saw that I was making a 360-degree turn from where I was before. It was the past, haunting me. Everything else was so easy for me these days. I had no problems. I thought I didnt need God because I passed the exams, I had money, etc. Now I’m going “back to normal”. How sad it is that normalcy for me was going back to the way I used to live before I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior.
But that was how I found out that a huge part of me was missing. No, not a huge part… everything I had was missing. I tried eating lots of food to fill in the emptiness, but the emptiness wasnt in the stomach. I tried studying and reading, but the emptiness wasnt in the head. I had my own heart broken for missing God. I was looking for God. He was there, but I was far.
Now I have been slapped back to reality through what Kuya Jamer had said earlier this morning. Everything had hit me because I was really idle. I was aware that I was, but it was really crazy. I was really crazy.
I was like this back then, when I still havent heard about the Good News. When I was not yet a Christian. I wouldnt want to be like how I was back then. I was annoying, too proud, too…stupid. I didnt read the Bible (I didnt even know there was a book called Malachi). And now I was forgetting all the verses I memorized. I even forgot my favorite verse!
I was also wondering why nothing was happening to my friends as I was leading them in devotion every saturday. And now I realized that I cannot be able to lead my friends to the Lord if I am weak in faith. K.Jamer said if one is weak in faith, then his ministry would likely be ineffective. So yeah, God answered my questions.
Now I would like to commit myself to the Lord once again. Here’s a song that I dedicate to the Lord:
FIRE BURNS
Jon Owens
Don’t wanna go back Lord
to the way I used to live
the way I used to live
I won’t go back Lord
to the way I used to be
before you rescue me..
I will not stop
til’ every tribe and nation
bows before You..
I will not stop
til’ they all see your glory
see your glory..
Lift up your eyes to see
The glory of the Lord is on the earth
Arise.. Arise.. Arise..
CHORUS
Your Fire Burns within me
Burn within me with your fire
BRIDGEA
rise generation no longer forsaken
Arise, Arise, Arise
Labels: christian, church, lovelife
Monday, October 20, 2008 Monday, October 20, 2008
