Because what I felt was, I go somewhere else far from where I really live, then when you go there, nobody notices you're going somewhere. Because I'm usually not with them. They dont notice that youre far because even when I was near, I was far. That's how it feels like.
And when I'm in Laguna, there's no sense of belongingness. All I do is sit around, take pictures of myself, listen to some mp3, read a book, eat. I get bored. I do the same stuff all over again. I get bored again. I do the same stuff again. It's like a short version of the life cycle.
so i really needed a boyfriend. I have a boyfriend today. :D
wanna see a picture of us?
Well, in case you havent noticed (HAHA!), that's the uber handsome Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance. Haha..the picture is obviously edited. He is so white and I am so brown.
That's how easy it is to snag a boyfriend. Install Adobe Photoshop, Download pictures, and get creative. LOL.
now will ya share a picture with your 'boyfriend'.? ;)
hey, please dont take this post seriously. I'm in no need of a boyfriend. :) Anyway, yeah. Last sunday was our Youth Sunday. Here are some pictures:
I made that photo on the TV! Haha!
We were so excited :)
Me and katie, explaining the Mission/Vision statement
not much photos. :) but it was a lot of fuuun! I'll post our video here if Jamer would approve of it (he doesnt like seeing his face on the net!). Hihi.. God bless!
P.S. That girl in white in the front row is one of the new kids on our youth group. i kinda feel awkward seeing her with that 'Rock on' hand. it's kinda improper. Hehe. Oh well!
Labels: fangirl moments, lovelife
Friday, November 7, 2008 Friday, November 07, 2008
LOVE-ratory. :)
Semestral break, it's over!
It's just like breaking up with guy, right? Heheheh..
Well, I wont lie to you. I have a total of 3 "official" ex boyfriends. The others were what people call the MU. Argh. I dont believe that. Face it, it's a fling.
Anyway, well yeah. That was before. I had this idea about love like 'boyfriends are ornaments'. you look cute if you had a boyfriend. at that time, being without a boyfriend-slash-bodyguard is like being a nerd or something. I was afraid theyd think ive got no appeal to guys if i didnt have a guy stalking me. well. whatever. i was immature back then. ;)
what would be my ideal boyfriend?
well, someone who loves God far more than he loves me. :D I hope God would give me a handsome one. and a smart one, too! :D
Im single today. I'm not really looking for a boyfriend, ya know. Again, I wont lie to you, I like handsome guys. Actually, I have a lot of crushes. Most of them are celebrities, though. :)
Like Ian Hecox from Smosh (YouTube celebrities). Go to http://smosh.com or http://youtube.com/smosh. Ya'll love em.
Sorry Im not into bloghopping now. My eyes become easily tired because of the chemical something. I miss your entries. T.T
My birthday is coming near!!!
God bless you all! dont be in a rush. God will give you the right person at the right time. :D...
|
It's just like breaking up with guy, right? Heheheh..
Well, I wont lie to you. I have a total of 3 "official" ex boyfriends. The others were what people call the MU. Argh. I dont believe that. Face it, it's a fling.
Anyway, well yeah. That was before. I had this idea about love like 'boyfriends are ornaments'. you look cute if you had a boyfriend. at that time, being without a boyfriend-slash-bodyguard is like being a nerd or something. I was afraid theyd think ive got no appeal to guys if i didnt have a guy stalking me. well. whatever. i was immature back then. ;)
what would be my ideal boyfriend?
well, someone who loves God far more than he loves me. :D I hope God would give me a handsome one. and a smart one, too! :D
Im single today. I'm not really looking for a boyfriend, ya know. Again, I wont lie to you, I like handsome guys. Actually, I have a lot of crushes. Most of them are celebrities, though. :)
Like Ian Hecox from Smosh (YouTube celebrities). Go to http://smosh.com or http://youtube.com/smosh. Ya'll love em.
Sorry Im not into bloghopping now. My eyes become easily tired because of the chemical something. I miss your entries. T.T
My birthday is coming near!!!
God bless you all! dont be in a rush. God will give you the right person at the right time. :D
Wednesday, November 5, 2008 Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Don't Wanna Go Back, Lord
Hello guys! I'm sorry I became really busy. I wanted to return all the comments and love you've been giving me, but I can't promise that I'd be able to do that. I'm gonna try, though.
*i deleted this part*
So, the reason why I'm busy now is because of the Youth Sunday presentation that I'm assigned to make. Wee... Just so I could keep ya reading, here's from my latest entry on my Friendster Blog:
I haven’t been myself lately, and I just blogged out of my own lust for fame around the blogosphere- scattering my name all over the internet to get my website some unique visitors and making a lot of friends and comments on my own blog entries. I have forgotten the real reason why I chose to keep a blog. I have forgotten what I really wanted my blogs to be: I want these blogs to shout how Great the Lord is. I want to include in every page the name of the Lord. I want to reach out to people around the world by means of the internet connection. Does it sound insane? Well, I am serious. I have forgotten that this was the main goal of my website. I have forgotten what the Lord has told me.
I had been leading a weekly devotion. I had been attending cell group meetings, and worship celebrations and youth services. I had been leading, together with the worship team, the congregation to shout praises to the Lord every sunday. I had been a thick-faced sinner. I acted as if God and I still had the burning relationship. I faked everything else. I thought that being active ’round the church would make me closer and closer to my God, but somehow it made me even worse. Being alone at home with the computer on, enjoying the internet connection and using it for other purposes- it just didnt seem right. I watched too much anime, slept late at night, and didnt do anything productive around the house. I just sat back, ate, and surfed the net. Now I consider myself a lazy pig waiting to be punished.
I thought that just by doing all the stuff at church would maintain my relationship with God even if I dont talk to Him. I was wrong. I was completely wrong. I abandoned God, and that was my loss. Looking back, I saw that I was making a 360-degree turn from where I was before. It was the past, haunting me. Everything else was so easy for me these days. I had no problems. I thought I didnt need God because I passed the exams, I had money, etc. Now I’m going “back to normal”. How sad it is that normalcy for me was going back to the way I used to live before I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior.
But that was how I found out that a huge part of me was missing. No, not a huge part… everything I had was missing. I tried eating lots of food to fill in the emptiness, but the emptiness wasnt in the stomach. I tried studying and reading, but the emptiness wasnt in the head. I had my own heart broken for missing God. I was looking for God. He was there, but I was far.
Now I have been slapped back to reality through what Kuya Jamer had said earlier this morning. Everything had hit me because I was really idle. I was aware that I was, but it was really crazy. I was really crazy.
I was like this back then, when I still havent heard about the Good News. When I was not yet a Christian. I wouldnt want to be like how I was back then. I was annoying, too proud, too…stupid. I didnt read the Bible (I didnt even know there was a book called Malachi). And now I was forgetting all the verses I memorized. I even forgot my favorite verse!
I was also wondering why nothing was happening to my friends as I was leading them in devotion every saturday. And now I realized that I cannot be able to lead my friends to the Lord if I am weak in faith. K.Jamer said if one is weak in faith, then his ministry would likely be ineffective. So yeah, God answered my questions.
Now I would like to commit myself to the Lord once again. Here’s a song that I dedicate to the Lord:
FIRE BURNS
Jon Owens
Don’t wanna go back Lord
to the way I used to live
the way I used to live
I won’t go back Lord
to the way I used to be
before you rescue me..
I will not stop
til’ every tribe and nation
bows before You..
I will not stop
til’ they all see your glory
see your glory..
Lift up your eyes to see
The glory of the Lord is on the earth
Arise.. Arise.. Arise..
CHORUS
Your Fire Burns within me
Burn within me with your fire
BRIDGEA
rise generation no longer forsaken
Arise, Arise, Arise
...
|
*i deleted this part*
So, the reason why I'm busy now is because of the Youth Sunday presentation that I'm assigned to make. Wee... Just so I could keep ya reading, here's from my latest entry on my Friendster Blog:
I haven’t been myself lately, and I just blogged out of my own lust for fame around the blogosphere- scattering my name all over the internet to get my website some unique visitors and making a lot of friends and comments on my own blog entries. I have forgotten the real reason why I chose to keep a blog. I have forgotten what I really wanted my blogs to be: I want these blogs to shout how Great the Lord is. I want to include in every page the name of the Lord. I want to reach out to people around the world by means of the internet connection. Does it sound insane? Well, I am serious. I have forgotten that this was the main goal of my website. I have forgotten what the Lord has told me.
I had been leading a weekly devotion. I had been attending cell group meetings, and worship celebrations and youth services. I had been leading, together with the worship team, the congregation to shout praises to the Lord every sunday. I had been a thick-faced sinner. I acted as if God and I still had the burning relationship. I faked everything else. I thought that being active ’round the church would make me closer and closer to my God, but somehow it made me even worse. Being alone at home with the computer on, enjoying the internet connection and using it for other purposes- it just didnt seem right. I watched too much anime, slept late at night, and didnt do anything productive around the house. I just sat back, ate, and surfed the net. Now I consider myself a lazy pig waiting to be punished.
I thought that just by doing all the stuff at church would maintain my relationship with God even if I dont talk to Him. I was wrong. I was completely wrong. I abandoned God, and that was my loss. Looking back, I saw that I was making a 360-degree turn from where I was before. It was the past, haunting me. Everything else was so easy for me these days. I had no problems. I thought I didnt need God because I passed the exams, I had money, etc. Now I’m going “back to normal”. How sad it is that normalcy for me was going back to the way I used to live before I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior.
But that was how I found out that a huge part of me was missing. No, not a huge part… everything I had was missing. I tried eating lots of food to fill in the emptiness, but the emptiness wasnt in the stomach. I tried studying and reading, but the emptiness wasnt in the head. I had my own heart broken for missing God. I was looking for God. He was there, but I was far.
Now I have been slapped back to reality through what Kuya Jamer had said earlier this morning. Everything had hit me because I was really idle. I was aware that I was, but it was really crazy. I was really crazy.
I was like this back then, when I still havent heard about the Good News. When I was not yet a Christian. I wouldnt want to be like how I was back then. I was annoying, too proud, too…stupid. I didnt read the Bible (I didnt even know there was a book called Malachi). And now I was forgetting all the verses I memorized. I even forgot my favorite verse!
I was also wondering why nothing was happening to my friends as I was leading them in devotion every saturday. And now I realized that I cannot be able to lead my friends to the Lord if I am weak in faith. K.Jamer said if one is weak in faith, then his ministry would likely be ineffective. So yeah, God answered my questions.
Now I would like to commit myself to the Lord once again. Here’s a song that I dedicate to the Lord:
FIRE BURNS
Jon Owens
Don’t wanna go back Lord
to the way I used to live
the way I used to live
I won’t go back Lord
to the way I used to be
before you rescue me..
I will not stop
til’ every tribe and nation
bows before You..
I will not stop
til’ they all see your glory
see your glory..
Lift up your eyes to see
The glory of the Lord is on the earth
Arise.. Arise.. Arise..
CHORUS
Your Fire Burns within me
Burn within me with your fire
BRIDGEA
rise generation no longer forsaken
Arise, Arise, Arise
Labels: christian, church, lovelife
Monday, October 20, 2008 Monday, October 20, 2008
Temptations
It's still very early. I woke up 2 hours earlier than I used to. :p
Last night, I was really bothered by my conscience. I lied to my mom about my suitor. Well, I was a bad girl. She allowed him to court me because of my lie. So I went to church to ask God for help.
Good thing the lesson was about temptation. I fell for a temptation, which was to rush things and snag a boyfriend (which isnt a LAPTOP) immediately. I was probably thirsty for more attention because my parents are abroad and my brother is always busy (my friends have their own lives too). So I failed to fight the devil. :(
Then the preaching was about the solutions given by God when we get stuck into the danger of temptation. when you fall into temptation, you're not fighting Satan, rather you're fighting YOURSELF. So it's a war between yourself and you.
But only God alone has the solution to the problem. If you pray, He will tell you what to do. Of course, we also have to seek help from God's people. We need spiritual guidance as well. We need to cling to God, too. God is very kind, you know. And if you let God rule, you will forever be at peace!
So there. I was really nervous then I signed in to Yahoo Messenger. My sister was online. I asked if my mom was there. That was when she said, "Ako 'to. Bakit?"
Then I confessed everything. She didn't get mad, imagine that. What a great mom! But she took back her words last night. The guy isnt allowed to court me anymore. I just obeyed her. I told the guy. The guy isnt texting back anymore.
Of course, it hurts so much to tell that to the one I like. But what hurts even more is lying to my mom, hurting MY GOD. Because I have no authority over myself. God is the one who's controlling my life.
This is a story of a young boy and his dad. They had a rule at the house: Nobody will leave the table unless everyone is finished. But one day, the youngest kid tried to escape. They were still eating. The father caught him:
So even when I twitch in pain, that'll be okay in the end. :D
Got that? :)...
|
Last night, I was really bothered by my conscience. I lied to my mom about my suitor. Well, I was a bad girl. She allowed him to court me because of my lie. So I went to church to ask God for help.
Good thing the lesson was about temptation. I fell for a temptation, which was to rush things and snag a boyfriend (which isnt a LAPTOP) immediately. I was probably thirsty for more attention because my parents are abroad and my brother is always busy (my friends have their own lives too). So I failed to fight the devil. :(
Then the preaching was about the solutions given by God when we get stuck into the danger of temptation. when you fall into temptation, you're not fighting Satan, rather you're fighting YOURSELF. So it's a war between yourself and you.
But only God alone has the solution to the problem. If you pray, He will tell you what to do. Of course, we also have to seek help from God's people. We need spiritual guidance as well. We need to cling to God, too. God is very kind, you know. And if you let God rule, you will forever be at peace!
So there. I was really nervous then I signed in to Yahoo Messenger. My sister was online. I asked if my mom was there. That was when she said, "Ako 'to. Bakit?"
Then I confessed everything. She didn't get mad, imagine that. What a great mom! But she took back her words last night. The guy isnt allowed to court me anymore. I just obeyed her. I told the guy. The guy isnt texting back anymore.
Of course, it hurts so much to tell that to the one I like. But what hurts even more is lying to my mom, hurting MY GOD. Because I have no authority over myself. God is the one who's controlling my life.
This is a story of a young boy and his dad. They had a rule at the house: Nobody will leave the table unless everyone is finished. But one day, the youngest kid tried to escape. They were still eating. The father caught him:
I'm like this kid a lot of times. I know that what I'm doing is bad, but I still do it because I want it. I'm tempted. And I also say that God and I are the ones who take over. NO, that's not the right thing to do. God is the one who rules my life.Dad: What's the matter? Where are you going?
Kid: I'm gonna watch TV.
Father: But you're not supposed to.
Kid: I know. But I'm gonna miss my favorite TV show.
Father: But we have a rule here.
Kid: I know. But I'm gonna miss my favorite TV show.
Father: But that's a bad thing.
Kid: I know. But I'm gonna miss my favorite TV show.
Father: Wait a minute, but who's the boss here in this house?
Kid: Well...YOU AND ME, DAD!
So even when I twitch in pain, that'll be okay in the end. :D
Mabigat ang pagiging Kristyano, pero hindi pabigat ang pagiging Kristyano.
Got that? :)
Labels: christian, church, family, lovelife
Wednesday, September 24, 2008 Wednesday, September 24, 2008
the EX
i saw my ex-boyfriend today. it's awful.
it's not that i still like him. it's just that i feel very ashamed of myself for being his exgirlfriend. i mean, he was the worst thing that ever happened to me..so far. haha.. naah, just exaggerating.
maybe when you get to see him, you'll freak out and tell me, "crazy, crazy chiui! whyd you let go of that handsome chunk of a hunk?!". LIKE 'EW!'. you dont know what youre saying. yeah, he may look like an indian model to you (hehe). maybe a model of what, a garden hose? he sure is goodlooking, but we look deep deep down inside, right?:]
first, when he calls you on the phone, he will hang up without saying 'bye'. there'll be the sound 'beep beep beep'. thats it. he's not there anymore. what a "gentleman".
second, he'd lie about his textmates. one time he said he had to switch to his old simcard because his brother's gonna call (he was using smart then. he bought a globe simcard just to text me), but it took him one whole day using that old simcard. i was all 'what the crap?'. i wanted to tell him "do you think im dumb? why would i believe you, you jerk? one phone call wouldnt last for a whole day. i know it when you receive phone calls, you go out of the house! but im your neighbor, and i spent the whole day beside my window. all you do outside is smoke and guess what, i saw you smile while you were texting outside. thats pretty unusual for me. oh yeah, i remember. in the past, you were an 8-timer. it would be pretty hard for you to change immediately. after breaking up with those eight, you would change? you dont even like Jesus. how would you ever do that? thats...i dont know how ill call that."
yeah. he laughed at me for being a christian. thats the reason why i thought more than twice about him. i wanted to approach my parents. they hated my ex. but i wasnt that mature before. i still sticked to that guy. crazy, insane me.
third, he's a pervert. period.
i really thank God we only lasted for one week. if not, i couldve died.
when we broke up, i cried in front of my churchmates. what a fool i mustve been. thanks to my church!:))))) now im wondering why he's still alive and still washing the car like he used to. haha..kidding. i hope he'd get to know Jesus one day.
after all my very very very very very bad experiences with boys, ive decided to take a break. hehe.. i love ryan ross now! hahaha! btw, ryan ross is a guitarist from panic!at the disco.:]
the guy i have prayed for is like this: (yes!) a christian (not the 'dead' christian. i like christian guys on fire!), then he would be taller than me (of course!! im so short), medyo good in school (hehe), a gentleman, patient, pretty responsible (cause im pretty irresponsible. :[), honest, and really inlove with me. yii..very cheesy. haha. i also prayed to God that i hope he'd be handsome. uh..at least in my eyes?:] ah..all guys are handsome pala. haha..i jutst prayed that the guy would be my type.:]
no time to think about now. now my boyfriend would be my 'studies'. grabe. i want to break up with 'him' na. hahahaha...
im pretty bored with the love stuff. maybe because i had been a flirt all my life..until Jesus came to change my life. now He's taking over me. yes. im dead. dead from my old self.
really nice. it sounds like a Christian ghost story. the Holy Ghost, right? hehe.. the only difference is that devil ghost stories are creepy, but this kind of ghost story is uplifting. :] now hey there, dead people.:]
now ive got a song for my ex. here you go. just hit play to listen:
...
|
it's not that i still like him. it's just that i feel very ashamed of myself for being his exgirlfriend. i mean, he was the worst thing that ever happened to me..so far. haha.. naah, just exaggerating.
maybe when you get to see him, you'll freak out and tell me, "crazy, crazy chiui! whyd you let go of that handsome chunk of a hunk?!". LIKE 'EW!'. you dont know what youre saying. yeah, he may look like an indian model to you (hehe). maybe a model of what, a garden hose? he sure is goodlooking, but we look deep deep down inside, right?:]
first, when he calls you on the phone, he will hang up without saying 'bye'. there'll be the sound 'beep beep beep'. thats it. he's not there anymore. what a "gentleman".
second, he'd lie about his textmates. one time he said he had to switch to his old simcard because his brother's gonna call (he was using smart then. he bought a globe simcard just to text me), but it took him one whole day using that old simcard. i was all 'what the crap?'. i wanted to tell him "do you think im dumb? why would i believe you, you jerk? one phone call wouldnt last for a whole day. i know it when you receive phone calls, you go out of the house! but im your neighbor, and i spent the whole day beside my window. all you do outside is smoke and guess what, i saw you smile while you were texting outside. thats pretty unusual for me. oh yeah, i remember. in the past, you were an 8-timer. it would be pretty hard for you to change immediately. after breaking up with those eight, you would change? you dont even like Jesus. how would you ever do that? thats...i dont know how ill call that."
yeah. he laughed at me for being a christian. thats the reason why i thought more than twice about him. i wanted to approach my parents. they hated my ex. but i wasnt that mature before. i still sticked to that guy. crazy, insane me.
third, he's a pervert. period.
i really thank God we only lasted for one week. if not, i couldve died.
when we broke up, i cried in front of my churchmates. what a fool i mustve been. thanks to my church!:))))) now im wondering why he's still alive and still washing the car like he used to. haha..kidding. i hope he'd get to know Jesus one day.
after all my very very very very very bad experiences with boys, ive decided to take a break. hehe.. i love ryan ross now! hahaha! btw, ryan ross is a guitarist from panic!at the disco.:]
the guy i have prayed for is like this: (yes!) a christian (not the 'dead' christian. i like christian guys on fire!), then he would be taller than me (of course!! im so short), medyo good in school (hehe), a gentleman, patient, pretty responsible (cause im pretty irresponsible. :[), honest, and really inlove with me. yii..very cheesy. haha. i also prayed to God that i hope he'd be handsome. uh..at least in my eyes?:] ah..all guys are handsome pala. haha..i jutst prayed that the guy would be my type.:]
no time to think about now. now my boyfriend would be my 'studies'. grabe. i want to break up with 'him' na. hahahaha...
im pretty bored with the love stuff. maybe because i had been a flirt all my life..until Jesus came to change my life. now He's taking over me. yes. im dead. dead from my old self.
really nice. it sounds like a Christian ghost story. the Holy Ghost, right? hehe.. the only difference is that devil ghost stories are creepy, but this kind of ghost story is uplifting. :] now hey there, dead people.:]
now ive got a song for my ex. here you go. just hit play to listen:
A FAVOR HOUSE ATLANTIC
Your eyes tell the stories of a day you wish you could
Recall the moments that once have
Retrack the footsteps that brought us to this favor
I wouldn't ask this of you
Good eye, sniper
Here I'll shoot, and you run
The words you scribbled on the walls
The lots of friends you didn't have
I'll call you when the time is right
Are you in or are you out?
For them all to know the end of us all
Run quick, they're behind us
Didn't think we'd ever make it
This close to safety in one piece
Now you wanna kill me in the act of what could maybe
Save us from sleep and what we are
Good eye, sniper
Now I shoot, you run
The words you scribbled on the walls
The loss of friends you didn't have
I'll call you when the time is right
Are you in or are you out?
For them all to know the end of us all
Bye bye beautiful
Don't bother to write
Disturbed by your words and they're calling all cars
Face step, let down.
Face step, step down.
The words you scribbled on the walls
The loss of friends you didn't have
I'll call you when the time is right
Are you in or are you out?
For them all to know
Bye bye beautiful
Don't bother to write
Disturbed by your words and they're calling all cars
Face step, let down.
Face step, step down.
Bye bye beautiful
Don't bother to write
Disturbed by your words and they're calling all cars
Face step, let down.
Face step, step down.
Labels: christian, church, lovelife
Thursday, June 5, 2008 Thursday, June 05, 2008
regrets
this morning we had breakfast at mcdonald's. i had the longganisa meal. mama had the sausage mcmuffin. it was so delicious that i wished i could turn back the time and have it instead of the longganisa meal. haha.. talk about regret.
i remember when i was a little kid, i love writing letters to my friends. i would always end it with 'regrets, chiwi'. after making a lot of letters, i finally realized that i was supposed to write 'regards' and not 'regrets'. stupid mistake.
anyway..regrets. regret. regretting. i decided to post this one because of mary's comment on my previous post, strike four. guys, i regret letting that GUY go without having to share God's message. i just dont feel comfortable when i share his word with an admirer. well, i experienced doing that. he said he'd go to church with me, and he did. he did go to our church. eventually he got baptized as a born again christian like us. before he was baptized, i had a problem with him. he was acting so fake. he wasnt really christian. he just did that because i am a christian.
after that was the day of his baptism. he got baptized, i shook his hand, let it go, walked away. i cant stand the things he did. "God is not a joke" was the phrase that kept echoing in my head. if he were standing next to me that day, i couldve slapped him. hehe. kidding. the next sunday after that, he didnt show up. until now, he's gone. im happy he's gone. haha. thats why i feel uneasy sharing the Good News to guys. i think it's better to bring him to another christian guy and pray. after that experience, i always thought that the same things would happen to me with other nonchristian guys. so to be sure, i asked God to give me a christian boyfriend! :) haha.. but if guys like them werent supposed to be my boyfriend, i just hope some guy from our church would do all the sharing. i can share little things to them, but cant the rest be done by the guys? haha..just please take me away from them! hehehe..
i regret liking him. eewww... still i hope there are some messages that stayed in his heart after many months of attending in our church. i wont believe it if he didnt get anything out of it. im sure it was in God's plan that i brought him to church. now the regrets are gone.
fly away, regrets. God made it happen!:)...
|
Hullo! You're viewing Chiui's photoblog.♥ Be sure to leave something so I can get back to you. ;)
Flickr
Blog
Multiply - Shop Now!
Youtube
Jerry On My Tummy
Meet Jerry
Gotcha!
From Baguio With Love
Sweet Bebe
Put Me Together
Elephunk
March09 Booksale
Field Trip - Hum2 '09
layout:H-ing
i remember when i was a little kid, i love writing letters to my friends. i would always end it with 'regrets, chiwi'. after making a lot of letters, i finally realized that i was supposed to write 'regards' and not 'regrets'. stupid mistake.
anyway..regrets. regret. regretting. i decided to post this one because of mary's comment on my previous post, strike four. guys, i regret letting that GUY go without having to share God's message. i just dont feel comfortable when i share his word with an admirer. well, i experienced doing that. he said he'd go to church with me, and he did. he did go to our church. eventually he got baptized as a born again christian like us. before he was baptized, i had a problem with him. he was acting so fake. he wasnt really christian. he just did that because i am a christian.
after that was the day of his baptism. he got baptized, i shook his hand, let it go, walked away. i cant stand the things he did. "God is not a joke" was the phrase that kept echoing in my head. if he were standing next to me that day, i couldve slapped him. hehe. kidding. the next sunday after that, he didnt show up. until now, he's gone. im happy he's gone. haha. thats why i feel uneasy sharing the Good News to guys. i think it's better to bring him to another christian guy and pray. after that experience, i always thought that the same things would happen to me with other nonchristian guys. so to be sure, i asked God to give me a christian boyfriend! :) haha.. but if guys like them werent supposed to be my boyfriend, i just hope some guy from our church would do all the sharing. i can share little things to them, but cant the rest be done by the guys? haha..just please take me away from them! hehehe..
i regret liking him. eewww... still i hope there are some messages that stayed in his heart after many months of attending in our church. i wont believe it if he didnt get anything out of it. im sure it was in God's plan that i brought him to church. now the regrets are gone.
fly away, regrets. God made it happen!:)
Labels: christian, lovelife, regrets
Sunday, May 4, 2008 Sunday, May 04, 2008
strike four!
i went to church today. now im here sitting in front of the computer, thinking about things that don't really matter. this is part of my lovelife, but i cant say that it IS my lovelife. maybe this is HIS lovelife, but not mine.
today i bumped into this guy named..no, i think i shouldnt say his name. haha. i rejected this guy FOUR times. the fourth time i rejected him was just the week before last. then i bumped into him today. he didnt even feel awkward. he got used to it. hehehehe..
the first time he said some things about his feelings was when i was still living in the same subdivision as him. before, i always went outside to play badminton with the other kids. one night, it was late and i was still outside (the subdivision feels so safe that you can go home by midnight) playing badminton with yumi. then this guy came with a bike, his hair was all messy that night and he wasnt wearing a shirt. i could tell he was drunk. then he parked his bike right next to me. though i knew he was drunk, i didnt feel scared. i treated him like he's sober, and our conversation went like this:
him: hi shoo-ey.
chiui: shoo-ey?
him: baket anu ba?
chiui: chi-wi, hindi shoo-ey.
him: ah..shiwi.
chiui: *laughs*..lasing ka talaga.
him: hindi ako lasing ah, may tama lang.
chiui: may tama lang?
him: oo. red horse kasi ininom ko eh, para may sipa.
chiui: sipa??
him: oo.
chiui: ...........
him: .........
chiui:.......
him: *laughs* niloloko mo naman ako eh!
i still remember that because i still think the silent part was funny. hahahaha.. then he told me he'd go back home to put on a shirt, but when he got away, i didnt wait! hahaha.. then weeks came, he always talked to me. i think he's funny because he has this bisaya accent. actually, i think he's cute, but being cute is not enough.
then one night, he gathered all the courage he had to tell me that he likes me. it was when we were playing badminton in the middle of the night. i then told him that i didnt want him to court me because i dont think i can give him a chance. i didnt think he had even a small amount of hope. after that we changed the subject. he sounded really sad, so i left him alone and went home.
then we didnt talk for months, but i met him again. i remember that i have a boyfriend that time. there was a basketball competition that time, and he was on the pink team. i watched the game. i even did him a favor by buying him a drink and holding his money and blingbling (rings and bracelet). i always treated him as my best guy friend before. then after the game he asked me to accompany him to buy apples.
chiui: ano? mansanas??
him: oo. dali na..
chiui: bakit mansanas? naglilihi ka ba?
him: eh..oo. buntis ako.
chiui: *laughs* yuck!
him: pag di moko sinamahan sasabihin ko sayo!
chiui: ang ano?
then he went on expressing his feelings over again. i didnt pay attention again. i just stopped him and said that im taken.
him: ang daya mo. bat ako dati hindi.,..
chiui: kelan?
i was pretending. i knew what he was talking about. bah, who cares. it's too late now, and i know to myself that it wouldnt be possible. i cant give him anything.
the third time was when i was sitting on the sidewalks with kids and this japayuki lady (she is nice. shes just too sexy). another guy (that i can NEVER understand) was with him and he (the rejected guy) treated me differently. he didnt smile at me nor did he greet me. it felt like it was a set-up. then i finally figured out that it was really a set-up. i was with *i*o*, him, n**s**, **, a*b*k, and *i*o. theyre all guys, but i wasnt with them in the first place. i was really going to michelle's house, but nobody was home. then they came and cornered me, telling me that there's something this guy wanted to say. i gave him a chance to talk at least.
guy1: chiui, teka muna, wag ka munang umalis!
me: what? bakit?
guy2: ayan o. sabihin m n kasi!
admirer: eh umalis muna kasi kayo!
guy3: wag na..dito mo na sabihin!
he wanted his friends to go away so he can tell me everything. after 30 minutes (kidding) his friends left us alone. he told me the same things again. i told him that i have nothing to say. that im not ready and i think he's drunk. then i heard from a distance his friends said:
"awwwww!"
that was it.
the fourth time was while we were chatting. i dont think that was serious. what happened that day was the same thing, only it was IMed to me. then i told him the same things. this circle never ends!!
what happened today was like this: i was having my money changed from a nearby store. i saw someone park his bike. it was him. he had a different hair colour. he is thinner. he looked more human. hahaha.. then i panicked.
him: hi chi-wi. (he got it right this time)
chiui: hi! (i didnt give him a look)
him: o bakit? nahihiya ka?
chiui: ako? hindi ah!
-------i got my money changed---- i attempted not to say goodbye but..
him: bye chi-wi!
chiui: bye! (still not looking)
him: ah hindi tumingin..
there. really, he acted like nothing happened. even though he tried to win me four times, i dont think he's in love with me. we dont know each other too well. i mean, yes we talked a lot, but we didnt talk about things deeper. basta! hehe..youll feel that there's something lacking, but i admire his persistence and patience.
and actually even from the start i didnt think we'd be together. i want christian guys, and i dont like guys that smoke. BUT i made a mistake on those things. that boyfriend that i mentioned earlier. no use in blogging about him, he's a waste of time, energy, and electricity. haha..
well..'til here. thanks for being here!! God bless!...
|
today i bumped into this guy named..no, i think i shouldnt say his name. haha. i rejected this guy FOUR times. the fourth time i rejected him was just the week before last. then i bumped into him today. he didnt even feel awkward. he got used to it. hehehehe..
the first time he said some things about his feelings was when i was still living in the same subdivision as him. before, i always went outside to play badminton with the other kids. one night, it was late and i was still outside (the subdivision feels so safe that you can go home by midnight) playing badminton with yumi. then this guy came with a bike, his hair was all messy that night and he wasnt wearing a shirt. i could tell he was drunk. then he parked his bike right next to me. though i knew he was drunk, i didnt feel scared. i treated him like he's sober, and our conversation went like this:
him: hi shoo-ey.
chiui: shoo-ey?
him: baket anu ba?
chiui: chi-wi, hindi shoo-ey.
him: ah..shiwi.
chiui: *laughs*..lasing ka talaga.
him: hindi ako lasing ah, may tama lang.
chiui: may tama lang?
him: oo. red horse kasi ininom ko eh, para may sipa.
chiui: sipa??
him: oo.
chiui: ...........
him: .........
chiui:.......
him: *laughs* niloloko mo naman ako eh!
i still remember that because i still think the silent part was funny. hahahaha.. then he told me he'd go back home to put on a shirt, but when he got away, i didnt wait! hahaha.. then weeks came, he always talked to me. i think he's funny because he has this bisaya accent. actually, i think he's cute, but being cute is not enough.
then one night, he gathered all the courage he had to tell me that he likes me. it was when we were playing badminton in the middle of the night. i then told him that i didnt want him to court me because i dont think i can give him a chance. i didnt think he had even a small amount of hope. after that we changed the subject. he sounded really sad, so i left him alone and went home.
then we didnt talk for months, but i met him again. i remember that i have a boyfriend that time. there was a basketball competition that time, and he was on the pink team. i watched the game. i even did him a favor by buying him a drink and holding his money and blingbling (rings and bracelet). i always treated him as my best guy friend before. then after the game he asked me to accompany him to buy apples.
chiui: ano? mansanas??
him: oo. dali na..
chiui: bakit mansanas? naglilihi ka ba?
him: eh..oo. buntis ako.
chiui: *laughs* yuck!
him: pag di moko sinamahan sasabihin ko sayo!
chiui: ang ano?
then he went on expressing his feelings over again. i didnt pay attention again. i just stopped him and said that im taken.
him: ang daya mo. bat ako dati hindi.,..
chiui: kelan?
i was pretending. i knew what he was talking about. bah, who cares. it's too late now, and i know to myself that it wouldnt be possible. i cant give him anything.
the third time was when i was sitting on the sidewalks with kids and this japayuki lady (she is nice. shes just too sexy). another guy (that i can NEVER understand) was with him and he (the rejected guy) treated me differently. he didnt smile at me nor did he greet me. it felt like it was a set-up. then i finally figured out that it was really a set-up. i was with *i*o*, him, n**s**, **, a*b*k, and *i*o. theyre all guys, but i wasnt with them in the first place. i was really going to michelle's house, but nobody was home. then they came and cornered me, telling me that there's something this guy wanted to say. i gave him a chance to talk at least.
guy1: chiui, teka muna, wag ka munang umalis!
me: what? bakit?
guy2: ayan o. sabihin m n kasi!
admirer: eh umalis muna kasi kayo!
guy3: wag na..dito mo na sabihin!
he wanted his friends to go away so he can tell me everything. after 30 minutes (kidding) his friends left us alone. he told me the same things again. i told him that i have nothing to say. that im not ready and i think he's drunk. then i heard from a distance his friends said:
"awwwww!"
that was it.
the fourth time was while we were chatting. i dont think that was serious. what happened that day was the same thing, only it was IMed to me. then i told him the same things. this circle never ends!!
what happened today was like this: i was having my money changed from a nearby store. i saw someone park his bike. it was him. he had a different hair colour. he is thinner. he looked more human. hahaha.. then i panicked.
him: hi chi-wi. (he got it right this time)
chiui: hi! (i didnt give him a look)
him: o bakit? nahihiya ka?
chiui: ako? hindi ah!
-------i got my money changed---- i attempted not to say goodbye but..
him: bye chi-wi!
chiui: bye! (still not looking)
him: ah hindi tumingin..
there. really, he acted like nothing happened. even though he tried to win me four times, i dont think he's in love with me. we dont know each other too well. i mean, yes we talked a lot, but we didnt talk about things deeper. basta! hehe..youll feel that there's something lacking, but i admire his persistence and patience.
and actually even from the start i didnt think we'd be together. i want christian guys, and i dont like guys that smoke. BUT i made a mistake on those things. that boyfriend that i mentioned earlier. no use in blogging about him, he's a waste of time, energy, and electricity. haha..
well..'til here. thanks for being here!! God bless!
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Clicky
Hullo! You're viewing Chiui's photoblog.♥ Be sure to leave something so I can get back to you. ;)
Follow?
FriendsterFlickr
Blog
Multiply - Shop Now!
Youtube
Past
In 7 days..Jerry On My Tummy
Meet Jerry
Gotcha!
From Baguio With Love
Sweet Bebe
Put Me Together
Elephunk
March09 Booksale
Field Trip - Hum2 '09
Claps
brush: funeralmonster.
image:FFlayout:H-ing